The well known leaders like Subhash Chandra Bose, Baghat Singh, A P Abdul Kalam, to that of the recent times, Milind Soman, Kailash Satyarthi, Baba Seechewal, Azeem Premzee, etc, etc. The examples are infinite when it comes to listing the “contributors” of our society. But wait, there seems to be something missing, rather purposely omitted, yes, you guessed it right, that I am naming only males here not because I am anti-female but because I am asked to write about my sons this mother’s day. Naming social leaders, political leaders, sports players, literature laureate, economist, Guinness book record holder so on and so forth is as easy a task as making a lemonade, all thanks to our very own Google devta. But the task is rigor, alike rearing the cotton threads from crude cotton wheel when it comes to marking your presence amongst one of “them”.
This mother’s day I will not only consider my sons. This mother’s day I have chosen to be responsible for each and every child in my reach and around my vicinity, as my own, thus I have pondered upon the culture we are pursuing. The culture which is firm and rooted in every nook and corner of our society. This cultural cobweb that we not only as an individuals but more like parents are weaving intricately. The culture which is prominent yet subtle like that of ceilings’ iron beams existing yet invisible. The disease I am talking about is the culture of pressurizing, the culture of injecting, and the culture of comparing.
We as parents unknowingly burden our children with what we aspire them to be and not what they are born with innately. Unfortunately, we the parents push, strech, and flung open every ounce of the capacity our children are bestowed with to bent them for this “second culture”. We hover over children to make them like Rabindranath Tagore or maybe chef Vikas Khanna no maybe Field Marshall Manekshaw or maybe Ruskin Bond no actually Birju Maharaj, or maybe R. D. Burman, Amitabh Bacchan, and Narendra Modi!?!?!?
Dear parents, I very well understand that our lives revolve around our children and that their success, health and their growth are and will always be our priority. But leading the children according to the historical norms once set by all the invaders, and British colonial in India in the past is inevitably making the lives of our children miserable.
The norms of right and wrong, the fair skinned and the black trash, the great engineers and filthy indigenous, this attitude for the upbringing of a child’s psyche is hazardous. It is killing the experimental nature our children are born with. We are sculpting them according to the paralance once set by the historical doubtful flukes. We are not rearing, supporting and encouraging the aspects our children are passionate about. But injecting them to be the “second”. We are unfortunately succumbing the new with old and tethered second Rabindranath Tagore, second Ruskin Bond, second Azeem Premzee, second me, second you, and what not. This is not only taking our children to deep, dark, disastrous pit but also demeaning Bharatwarsh of it’s “golden” status.
Can we not pause and give a thought as to what our children, our child, my daughter or my son wants to be!?!
Why we insist them to read only school books and not the library books? And even if they read library books why we suggest them to read this author or that magazine? Can we not just let them free? Can we not just let them be? Can we not just have faith on the Almighty that it will care and nurture the best out of our child? Can we not just let them breath? At least once? Just to find out to our astonishment that they are capable of bringing about a change, something spellbinding and creative, something original, something which is solely theirs?!?!
This mother’s day I have an appeal, a request to let your child experiment. Let your child fail. Let your child feel the depth that comes with experience. Do you not think that achieving the goal was always the umbra – penumbra while the bright sun was the journey? Can we not just accept each and every child of ours as a personality, as an individual in the making?
I am sure there are innumerable people reading this who are grateful to have their parents always by their side. But I want you to reflect a bit and breath the silence to conclude upon the personality you are veritably. I request you to please close your eyes at least once and look within and seek for yourself are you the same person, the same imagery or the similar imagery of the person you always thought of in your dreams? I repeat, similar or same?!?!?
This mother’s day I pray that all our kids get a chance to have an exposure of the world they are capable of. This mother’s day I pray that all our children imbibe the miracle called freedom. This mother’s day I hope we allow ourselves free of all the old and the misfits. And this bill can take its first step by breaking one simple norm of gender difference. Maybe by not only giving Barbie dolls to our daughters and by not only giving supermen to our sons.
Why can we not show and expose our son to any women inspiration? Can he not be a singer like Begum Akhtar? A painter like Amrita? A novelist like Arundhati Roy? A badminton player like Sania? Do telling our sons about the women leadership make our sons to be a gay? To be a woman? Do you not feel you are imposing an injection which is certainly not required? Can we not start afresh and value what was ours rather than what was degraded by the invaders, traders, and whose who?!!
This mother’s day celebrate! Celebrate the nuances when your children are being excited and appreciative about each and every moment they come across. Because my dear friends, if not the “art of appreciation” what else is LIFE?
P.S. – I treat my nephews as my very own treasured sons.